she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
