Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
