I'd wear matching sweaters with you
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
