bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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