Quick, to the slutcave!
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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