I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
