32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
