yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
