Define "chronic" masturbator.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
