We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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