the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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