so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
