I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
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