There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
