Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
