How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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