Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
