There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
