Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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