so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize