Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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