u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
