People in love make me want to vomit
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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