We're like a lot better than the average bears
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
