I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
