I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
