You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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