We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
