I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
