we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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