I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
