Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
