Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
