If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
