Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
