That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Vodka?
Forever.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
