I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
