this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
