Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
