I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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