so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
