no. you can't hotbox the world.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
