Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
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