I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
