i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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