If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
