Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
