And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got inside last night via doggy door
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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