I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
