Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
