I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
God gave him joint rollers for hands
It's never too late to be topless.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
