i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
