i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
