the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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