Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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