Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
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I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
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He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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