you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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