So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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