All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
